Monday, 6 January 2014

2014 a new year a new me....

Yes, I realise that a lot of people say those words every January, but it's the first time I have said those words. This has been a long time coming for me, and I am ready now to be a little bit more selfish and do some more things for ME! 

                        

As you know  I have had a little break over new year, from both blogging and home. Of course I missed Craig (he was working so couldn't come with us), but I really enjoyed the chill out and not having to plan and organise my days. 

Whilst I was away I did some serious thinking, I have been letting lots of things get on top of me lately. Although almost all who know me wouldn't know it because I keep my own emotions to myself. I have had lots on my mind, lots of things that were, quite frankly, getting me down. I still feel that way about some things, these things will take a long time to change, and that can't be helped. But, I do feel that there is a lot I can do to change things for the best. 

Starting with paying more attention to myself. My confidence is at an all time low at the moment. I feel as though I have lost interest in myself and it shows. My children and my husband are very top of my priority list and that will never change. That's the way I want it to be. However I do feel that I need to start putting myself next to them on the priority list sometimes.

Something that makes me feel awful at the moment is the School run. Don't get me wrong, I love chatting to the other parents and really think they are great. But I see everyone else with their perfect hair and make up. Dressed very fashionably and always looking fab. Then there is me, I bowl up with no make up on, my hair a mess and wearing clothes that are so last season. What must they think of me?! I can fix the make up easily, it just means getting up earlier, I can do that. My hair will never be as nice as anyone else's as it is so thin you can see my scalp. It is truly awful and I will never like it. My clothes. Well I can sort them, but that is something that will take time (not to mention money). So my aim is to start buying myself one new item of clothing a month. Because I want to prove to myself and the other mums that I do care about myself really. 

Another thing that I feel needs to change is my 'me time'. I know that my husband will argue this, because quite frankly he cant see my side to this. I really wish he would, it's not easy being a Mummy all day and then working evenings.

Having time away from work AND my blog made me realise how little time I have for myself. I read on Facebook how other Mums have been on nights out or have treated themselves by getting their nails or hair done, or spent a day at a spa. I always think, wow I would so love some of that. I would so love some time where I can reflect by myself, chill out, have more fun with friends and dare I say it have some time away from being Mummy (aside from work)  just for a few hours. I see my friends less and less at the moment, I have turned into a social recluse. Which is so unlike me. I just do not feel confident anymore. I am not going to as many toddler groups with Millie either. How silly is that?! But the more I leave it, the worse it gets. 

I feel exhausted 90% of the time and I am sick of it. I need to make some changes, I need to fit myself into the family priority list and it needs to happen NOW. 

I am going to use this post as my motivational push. I will be reading it back to myself often and would love some words of encouragement and advice too! 

This blog post is not meant to be negative, it is meant to be a positive push for me. I am determined 2014 is going to be a great and positive year for me and my family, onwards and upwards! 

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